“We accept the love we think we deserve.” This is quote from the hit movie Perks of being a Wallflower. I have no idea what this means before this year, not because I don’t understand what it literally means, but I somehow just cannot resonate with this. But this year, having gone through to a different stage in my life, I realized that what it truly means is that, we attract what we become.
We always remember the bad things that happened to us in life, whether or not it’s a broken relationship or a sad phone call. And sometimes we tend to forget what the “bad” things taught us. After two weeks of getting lost in the internship world, I decided to share my clutter poems with you guys. They record different emotional stages of my 2017. I hope you all enjoy them!
There are moments where,
I wish somehow you will know, in my head I will do everything right
But after all those nights alone in the flickering light,
I realized that I was always the puff of your smoke,
a 3 minutes enjoyment,
and I – should be the one brave enough to call it quit.
Last night I kissed your lips and said goodnight,
Trying to warm your cold hands and tucked you in
You looked at me with that same old hazy eyes
And that, almost felt like a never ending daydream
At that very moment,
It was forever to me.
The one truth that your family would never tell you is that,
What you give is not always what you are going to get,
Because all their life they have been trying
To give you what you ever wanted
But now- having torn into pieces and put back together again
All you want to do is
Become the one you always wanted to be with.
King of the World
How I wish
I could tell my 13 year old self
That it is okay to be who you are
Being the abnormality of all the normality that is out there
And that it is okay to get scared and insecure
Of all the beasts lurking in the dark
It is also okay to become who you wanted to be
A writer who is not trapped in cages of the society
I would hug you and tell you what you most needed at that time;
You are the king of the world.
Still your shadows hide yourself in every dream I dreamt
With searchlights I strike out to look for you
Then I’ll find you standing there, with your open arms-
But I guess the scorching lights killed you
Because all there’s left now is,
A speck of dust in a dark room.
I never knew that
I have to choose between; seeing us together in my dreams or-
Being apart from you in reality
That hurts me so much because deep down I understand
Reality and dreams never coexist.