“We accept the love we think we deserve.” This is quote from the hit movie Perks of being a Wallflower. I have no idea what this means before this year, not because I don’t understand what it literally means, but I somehow just cannot resonate with this. But this year, having gone through to a different stage in my life, I realized that what it truly means is that, we attract what we become.

We always remember the bad things that happened to us in life, whether or not it’s a broken relationship or a sad phone call. And sometimes we tend to forget what the “bad” things taught us. After two weeks of getting lost in the internship world, I decided to share my clutter poems with you guys. They record different emotional stages of my 2017.  I hope you all enjoy them!


There are moments where,

I wish somehow you will know, in my head I will do everything right

But after all those nights alone in the flickering light,

I realized that I was always the puff of your smoke,

a 3 minutes enjoyment,

and I – should be the one brave enough to call it quit.

Last Night

Last night I kissed your lips and said goodnight,

Trying to warm your cold hands and tucked you in

You looked at me with that same old hazy eyes

And that, almost felt like a never ending daydream

At that very moment,

It was forever to me.


The one truth that your family would never tell you is that,

What you give is not always what you are going to get,

Because all their life they have been trying

To give you what you ever wanted

But now-  having torn into pieces and put back together again

All you want to do is

Become the one you always wanted to be with.

King of the World

How I wish

I could tell my 13 year old self

That it is okay to be who you are

Being the abnormality of all the normality that is out there

And that it is okay to get scared and insecure

Of all the beasts lurking in the dark

It is also okay to become who you wanted to be

A writer who is not trapped in cages of the society

I would hug you and tell you what you most needed at that time;

You are the king of the world.

Existential Crisis

Still your shadows hide yourself in every dream I dreamt

With searchlights I strike out to look for you

Then I’ll find you standing there, with your open arms-

But I guess the scorching lights killed you

Because all there’s left now is,

A speck of dust in a dark room.

I never knew that

I have to choose between; seeing us together in my dreams or-

Being apart from you in reality

That hurts me so much because deep down I understand

Reality and dreams never coexist.