Some of my friends would ask me for advice on love, what this four letter word really means to me, and how do I know if I am in love with someone- and for a long period of time, I’ve struggled to come up with an answer for it. And yet, I think I have found my answer.

I used to think when I was younger that love is just an expression for a strong feeling for someone, temporary or not, this word used to come out from my mouth abruptly, without any second thoughts. It’s lust and excitement,  and doesn’t carry any special meaning to it. If you were to ask me to recall any moments where I remember how I realized I love someone at that time, I would not have any answer for you. And that is perfectly normal. We live in an era where we need the love we lost, we yearn for something we cannot hold onto, an iPhone that you think cannot be repaired but rather it’s yourself that wants to replace it. And yes everything changes over time, nothing is really permanent, but I realized an important fact; and that is to cherish our moment as we never know what would happen next.

This thought of love has changed over the years, and through time, I’ve evolved to being really sensitive and careful about it. I’ve grown to avoid any direct answer when someone told me they love me, as I think love is just too heavy for me to carry, and everything would change if you were to be held responsible for it. Walls were built around me, but little did I know at that time that no one could ever get close to me if I were to push them away every time. They say that no man is an island, but I’ve only allowed visitors but not citizens on my “island”.

And now I realize a fact- that you don’t have to calculate how long have you met that special someone and you don’t have to recall any particular moments that you have been through with them; love is just mere happiness. It’s the kind of happiness that you want them to have even if you have to sacrifice a little. And that doesn’t mean that you are not loving yourself, you are happy when they are happy. You want what’s the best for them. And you want what’s best for yourself too, they say that you have to know how to love yourself before loving someone, and that is so true.

I figured that love is so much more than calculations or second thoughts and pure feelings for someone, it can just be a 7 seconds gaze into their eyes or a relationship that has gone through rough patches, everyone defines love in their own way, but at the end of the day, you don’t have to think too much, you would just know.